Posted on by aquietwalk

A Visit

I think she visited me,

I’d hate to say it true,

and lose her all over again,

but I do think she did.

It was a special day,

remarkable miracles,

when later I would check

and I noticed her,

in that lovely mystery

her cryptic way,

to lend to the beauty

of her long lasting mystique.

He wondered with a smile,

if he did respond,

told her so

and thanked her more,

would she go away,

take her life to another way,

where he could still imagine

but no longer find her

again, just like the last time,

a decade ago

of misguided assurances

and confusing outcomes.

Oh to have the recordings back

the lovely pleas in music,

if only then,

and maybe now,

but time doesn’t allow,

only the beauty of love

can be found to be waiting

when no one is looking,

and in a glance,

we do see we have eyes,

their depths inherent

with our own personal

desire to find our soul

with each heart in hand.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Solace

What means this peace

of mind, in solitude

we seek

a mellow rapport with time,

some distant song

we want to find in our hearts,

a soul

so meant to be filled with love

we wander

sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded

by a world inside its own

personal journey.

We’re all finding peace

our everyday,

we wander inside the psyche of memory,

hoping somehow

we might find a solution

to the pain,

this constant dilemma

our own struggle

stays afloat with the normal routine,

without a conflict,

would we ever know

how we might find our selves

our peace

our solace.

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Alone Time

Oh, getting better every day,

morning ritual

draws a coffee in hand,

early moments spent

aligning blind slats

with the building lines

across the street.

Seems they’ll never really balance,

but I find that amusing

and it passes the day.

Think about meditation

but wonder if in my

alone time that’s already happening.

I mean it is true,

I sit alone and stare for hours,

isn’t that kind of what it’s like

to bore deep in our soul?

I know I need to admit,

I’m trying to find myself,

sometimes with desperation,

waiting for the telephone to ring,

I still call it that,

ages me a bit I suppose,

but maybe that lends to my curiosity,

the desire to understand

how this time of my life,

call it a chapter

contains so much

uncharted territory.

I continue to fight the blues,

will always wonder,

what might have been,

what could me,

all the adages

defining my experience …

alone time.

Posted on by aquietwalk

A Solemn Day

I would reach out to you

if I could

if the stars aligned

and it happened by chance.

I wouldn’t have to work so hard

to find your love

to know your beauty

is you,

no longer what I dream.

To know that you have yourself,

a contentment

that I once held close to my heart.

A solemn day

for memory,

that what if the human condition

throws upon our soul,

when we cannot find the strength

to let go,

but hang on with hope

and eventual delusion.

Yet, love is, just that.

Posted on by aquietwalk

How Long Will I Weep

I watch days go by,

summer warmth,

laying by the pool,

and then autumn winds,

we walk with light sweaters

feeling the crisp air,

a gradual turn

to winter’s quiet

resilient nature.

We have to find

the heavy garments,

creating soft cocoons,

carrying us through season,

finding ways to appreciate

the beauty of how

our bodies

adjust to the changing seasons.

I thought of you the other day,

how we might walk together

holding hands

feeling fresh snow

tease our nose,

laughing in each other’s eyes,

a warm reminder

envelops me now,

while listening to the Moody Blues,

I can almost feel your

heart touching my soul.

Posted on by aquietwalk

His Heart In Her Hands

Opened a door

and there she stood

just like before

she hadn’t changed.

His wonder in silence

if he might, could,

his heart now chance

their lives rearranged.

He did say hello

smiled as she would

could she see him glow,

in this brief exchange.

He felt in his soul a pang

His heart in hers did hang.

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Moon Song

I watched the moon rise last night

the sky screaming spectacular

couldn’t feel a thing tonight

just wanted her near me in the clear.

~

I felt the pangs of loss in the sky

owls lauding in a preserve in song.

I knew the sound would ask me why

what had I done, where might I belong.

~

I couldn’t help but want to cry again

wishing only that I might be wrong

If every moment I’d felt had begun

a new mantra, a settling soul in song.

~

These quiet moments under the moon,

would be lost in the shadows too soon.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Taking A Risk

I believe in love. I believe it lives in our every day lives, every day actions. Our beliefs, actions, feelings, hopes all evolve with love. W can choose to use it in our lives, or accept it and appreciate its impact on our decisions and choices.

I choose to love. I fell in love with a woman over a year ago whom I had known for most of my life. We were not in touch for decades but somehow knew what was happening with each other. We suddenly were in a position to appreciate each other on a close friend level, though mistakenly we became an intimate couple far too soon. Things became scary and she chose to go a different direction. I had no choice to accept her decision, though I didn’t handle it well.

I spent the next two months trying to fix things as most guys think is their only alternative. Instead I pushed her further away with every effort. I one day came to terms with the fact that when she told me she needed her space, she meant it and I was only prolonging the obvious. She didn’t want me in her life or around for that matter. She walked a tight rope with me and suddenly it snapped.

I have since that time struggled. I have struggled to understand and accept this loss of someone I imagined to be in my life for the near and far future. Our lives were at a place we both felt we could live together, appreciating what lay ahead. Somewhere that dream was shattered and I could not pick up the pieces. I’m still trying and it makes me realize how unrealistic I can be. But I have to wonder if that is all there is.

I’m going to invite her to get together for a chat, a visit, a cup of coffee, maybe a walk. I’m in love and I don’t think that will ever change. So I am living that life of believing that what we had was true, and not that I can change it. I just want her to know. I want to look in eyes and recognize the attraction we have with one another is far deeper than simply that physicality. The eyes are a path to the soul and I don’t see any other way to describe my feelings to her. I want to take care of her and I have never felt such a profound desire in my life. Not in thirty years of marriage.

I know we are at the apex of our lives and we have less time remaining that the years we have been alive. I wish to be there for her and I want her to wish to be with me. I haven’t any control over that. The only thing I can do is express to her what I believe and wish and then let her go.

I do love.

© aquietwalk 4/2022

Posted on by aquietwalk

When She Did

He responded the same,

when she did,

he couldn’t find a name

when she did.

Sometimes we are scared

wonder a loud

wonder a loud

Can’t really figure they dared.

take away such a gentle soul

take away such a gentle soul

That confidence will matter

when she does

There’s no chance matters.

when she does.

take away such a gentle soul.

aquietwalk