Wanting Only This

I want to write poetry about you,

how much I adore you,

how every moment of my life,

contains room for you,

desire, passion, only hope

each day begins with a picture of you,

and I go from there,

I let my imagination go where I want it to go,

thoughts of you,

the beauty of a smile,

how simple that can be,

just in the moment,

the way your stocking hat covers your bangs,

how your eyes sparkle in the moment,

always a soul inside,

seeking your heart.

Oh if you knew how much I do

think about you on any given day,

I think this is love,

when I can feel my heart ache,

when every moment of my day,

holds some piece of your mystique,

waiting and being more patient

with each of my days.

A Case of Beer

It was a Saturday afternoon,

plans for the night

drink and party.

I had the keys

the liquor cabinet,

downstairs a storeroom

under the store.

There was a particular case,

you can still smell the stench

spilled beer and broken bottles,

the case was unique

perfect for tonight’s party.

I loaded it onto the back of my bicycle,

strapped it down,

looked at my buddy returning to the store,

both of us smiling,

didn’t ever see the vagrant.

He sat on the steps and watched us the whole time.

That night my dad called,

said I lost my job,

stole a case of beer.

Never got a chance to explain.

Only knew the store owner slapped a dollar bill

in the vagrant’s hands and told him.

‘be on your way.’

I Used To Think

Everything is a mess,

no hope, no solution,

I’ll live this way,

through my declining days.

I used to believe,

only what I thought,

nothing beyond,

I couldn’t describe

the next day.

In the hour of my doom

would I swoon

for not realizing how close

I came to understanding why.

I used to think,

for every moment I would cry,

no one would listen

no one could care,

and then one day

I came to terms with

how important in might be,

I listen

and choose to care.

Silly Little Lie

Seems likely,

a state of mind

is driven by fear,

those unknowns hanging around.

We do lie to ourselves,

a constant berating,

always measuring

until we can no longer hang on.

Oh, silly little lies,

those moments of unravel,

where our mind does leave

our heart lilting behind.

Oh the soul,

that place so sacred

we think about afterward,

and wonder what comes next.

These silly little lies,

occupy our mind,

give careless direction

to wanting competitors.

Taking A Drive

Step inside

see where it takes us

traveling down a road

not really sure where I’m going,

but I’ve been here before,

all feels so familiar

the trees and sunsets

seems like everyday,

I was here the night before,

I swear the clouds all look the same.

Only this time,

the seat is empty,

the one where I glance to the side,

and see you there with your smile,

reading a book,

staring out the window,

ready for conversation.

Now when I travel,

all I can do is imagine you,

sitting nearby,

engaged in avoiding conversation,

just letting the miles go by,

not having to really ever share

what it is we were both thinking,

just wondering how we really did,

how did we really get here,

where there isn’t anyplace to turn back,

just keep going forward,

eventually the miles will go by,

and home will arrive

where we can take our lives inside,

living the same dream,

trying to figure out why all the other

memories ran away.

Crosstown Magic

She lived on the other side,

that place where love did reside,

I always saw her walking there

driving by in my car.

It was that neighborhood

I wanted to reach out and touch,

and now its memory

is what I rely upon

when trying to explain,

what it is I’m wanting to say.

It was just that she

could be anywhere in town

and there would only be that quiet Grace,

always surrounding the imagery

that would bring her beauty to mind,

I always wanted to be in that neighborhood,

I can still feel it today,

like I’m standing on the block,

waiting for her to come out of her house,

and walk around the block

with all of her lovely elegance,

I can feel the passion,

I can feel the beauty,

I want to hold her in my arms

never let go,

just tell her I wish I’d come over long ago,

crosstown memories.

Word Fights

In a fitting moment,

a human can be aroused

by the world they live in,

simple, free and confined.

We all have our hearts,

some talk about the soul,

others cry their bitter tears,

all wanting that place to stand.

Sounds familiar,

always is,

same words,

sentiment no different,

just another day in the life,

of a broken heart,

a wild imagination,

a central device of definition,

some human condition shit,

all the same

on a different day, different plane,

a parallel fucking universe,

somebody tell me how to get off,

rather than trying to hang on,

what happens when I fall,

nothing underneath,

just floating in the air,

sort of like my mind on acid,

or maybe nothing at all,

just my mind,

my fucking brain on


A Visit

I think she visited me,

I’d hate to say it true,

and lose her all over again,

but I do think she did.

It was a special day,

remarkable miracles,

when later I would check

and I noticed her,

in that lovely mystery

her cryptic way,

to lend to the beauty

of her long lasting mystique.

He wondered with a smile,

if he did respond,

told her so

and thanked her more,

would she go away,

take her life to another way,

where he could still imagine

but no longer find her

again, just like the last time,

a decade ago

of misguided assurances

and confusing outcomes.

Oh to have the recordings back

the lovely pleas in music,

if only then,

and maybe now,

but time doesn’t allow,

only the beauty of love

can be found to be waiting

when no one is looking,

and in a glance,

we do see we have eyes,

their depths inherent

with our own personal

desire to find our soul

with each heart in hand.

In 2021

I really didn’t think I would make it,

I watched the days drift by

painfully so

as I imagined each downfall

every reason to believe

my life wasn’t worth living.

I listened to friends,

met a therapist

a blue sky did nothing

for my state of mind.

I wanted to escape

all the festering angst,

thought I wasn’t capable

of living any sort of life.

It was in 2021

I rushed through resistance,

didn’t want to grow,

figured it was too late,

my life in a measure

of selfish deceit.

I walked alone for a very long time,

today I’m still alone, still alive.

Trying to Resurface

I walked a thin line,

the same as you

and I wondered

is this all there is.

I remember days of

staring at walls,

drinking my coffee

liking a routine.

But I was still buried

trying to find a light,

some indication

that I was all right.

I went to bed early

and I got up late,

still having that coffee

still staring at walls.

I wandered alone

in a sea of people,

I looked in their eyes

they all turned away.

I didn’t really know

what side of the street

what part of the ladder

I landed upon.

I only wanted to breathe

I only hoped I might believe.