Posted on by aquietwalk

A Visit

I think she visited me,

I’d hate to say it true,

and lose her all over again,

but I do think she did.

It was a special day,

remarkable miracles,

when later I would check

and I noticed her,

in that lovely mystery

her cryptic way,

to lend to the beauty

of her long lasting mystique.

He wondered with a smile,

if he did respond,

told her so

and thanked her more,

would she go away,

take her life to another way,

where he could still imagine

but no longer find her

again, just like the last time,

a decade ago

of misguided assurances

and confusing outcomes.

Oh to have the recordings back

the lovely pleas in music,

if only then,

and maybe now,

but time doesn’t allow,

only the beauty of love

can be found to be waiting

when no one is looking,

and in a glance,

we do see we have eyes,

their depths inherent

with our own personal

desire to find our soul

with each heart in hand.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Solace

What means this peace

of mind, in solitude

we seek

a mellow rapport with time,

some distant song

we want to find in our hearts,

a soul

so meant to be filled with love

we wander

sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded

by a world inside its own

personal journey.

We’re all finding peace

our everyday,

we wander inside the psyche of memory,

hoping somehow

we might find a solution

to the pain,

this constant dilemma

our own struggle

stays afloat with the normal routine,

without a conflict,

would we ever know

how we might find our selves

our peace

our solace.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Beauty is Memory

To imagine,

she might be nearby

if only words can tell me,

I would make them up in my mind

to have you closer to me,

feel your warm affection,

that compassionate soul

I once held in my arms.

I feel these emotions,

saddle me,

I cannot move sometimes,

and then I realize

I’m living, I’m alive,

and she would want that for me.

She is beauty in a special day,

when the stars align at night,

the radiant blue of a sunny day,

she’s all these things,

wrapped into her soul,

a certain elegance

in how she carries her own pain,

once shared with me,

once comforted,

oh did I hold your love with my heart.

Posted on by aquietwalk

A Tear

It runs

When my head

Lays on its side

A pillow

Softening the blow

I wonder about time

Sad moments

And the questions return.

A single tear

Runs from my eye

Finding a trail

Along my cheek.

I wonder about time

And how distinct

A moment exists

When torn apart by thought

We bury the truth.

We forget that

Human error

Is meant to withstand

The pain of

One tear.

Posted on by aquietwalk

How Long Will I Weep

I watch days go by,

summer warmth,

laying by the pool,

and then autumn winds,

we walk with light sweaters

feeling the crisp air,

a gradual turn

to winter’s quiet

resilient nature.

We have to find

the heavy garments,

creating soft cocoons,

carrying us through season,

finding ways to appreciate

the beauty of how

our bodies

adjust to the changing seasons.

I thought of you the other day,

how we might walk together

holding hands

feeling fresh snow

tease our nose,

laughing in each other’s eyes,

a warm reminder

envelops me now,

while listening to the Moody Blues,

I can almost feel your

heart touching my soul.

Posted on by aquietwalk

His Heart In Her Hands

Opened a door

and there she stood

just like before

she hadn’t changed.

His wonder in silence

if he might, could,

his heart now chance

their lives rearranged.

He did say hello

smiled as she would

could she see him glow,

in this brief exchange.

He felt in his soul a pang

His heart in hers did hang.

Posted on by aquietwalk

I Want

I seek recognition

I want

It’s scary to think about

Our lives tied

Each energy holds truth

Falling together

… and everyone rolls

One side Two

Another

Standing posture

Stay resolute

Why How

because.

I scream

He bleeds

I am sorrow

She is rage.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Taking A Risk

I believe in love. I believe it lives in our every day lives, every day actions. Our beliefs, actions, feelings, hopes all evolve with love. W can choose to use it in our lives, or accept it and appreciate its impact on our decisions and choices.

I choose to love. I fell in love with a woman over a year ago whom I had known for most of my life. We were not in touch for decades but somehow knew what was happening with each other. We suddenly were in a position to appreciate each other on a close friend level, though mistakenly we became an intimate couple far too soon. Things became scary and she chose to go a different direction. I had no choice to accept her decision, though I didn’t handle it well.

I spent the next two months trying to fix things as most guys think is their only alternative. Instead I pushed her further away with every effort. I one day came to terms with the fact that when she told me she needed her space, she meant it and I was only prolonging the obvious. She didn’t want me in her life or around for that matter. She walked a tight rope with me and suddenly it snapped.

I have since that time struggled. I have struggled to understand and accept this loss of someone I imagined to be in my life for the near and far future. Our lives were at a place we both felt we could live together, appreciating what lay ahead. Somewhere that dream was shattered and I could not pick up the pieces. I’m still trying and it makes me realize how unrealistic I can be. But I have to wonder if that is all there is.

I’m going to invite her to get together for a chat, a visit, a cup of coffee, maybe a walk. I’m in love and I don’t think that will ever change. So I am living that life of believing that what we had was true, and not that I can change it. I just want her to know. I want to look in eyes and recognize the attraction we have with one another is far deeper than simply that physicality. The eyes are a path to the soul and I don’t see any other way to describe my feelings to her. I want to take care of her and I have never felt such a profound desire in my life. Not in thirty years of marriage.

I know we are at the apex of our lives and we have less time remaining that the years we have been alive. I wish to be there for her and I want her to wish to be with me. I haven’t any control over that. The only thing I can do is express to her what I believe and wish and then let her go.

I do love.

© aquietwalk 4/2022

Posted on by aquietwalk

Am I Tacky?

I am laying in bed imagining myself in a Hollywood script – lifetime movies. I look around the room, the layout, electric light and battery cable attached to the wooden headboard. Am I tacky? He thought to himself. How do my friends feel, am I well?

This is the every day mind of a youthful ambition. To know the right words as we will wish we could. Or, is it only me? The mystery begun.

He carried himself with grace pushing through the room and then he forgot where he was though knowing he was safe in bed he sighed, always we might feel safer. It was like he was living out his diary in every move. And suddenly I’m letting myself lose my mind, astonished the result.

I am a case study that is being allowed a pleasant life if leads accordingly. I am well liked and I support kids, 100%. But, I feel this anxiety over-dramatized. I am experiencing an existential crisis and I seem like everyone believes I’m fooled and I can’t be. I have to be steadfast and assured. And then I carry on. We all carry on and I love life simply trying to pay back my debt to society. I sometimes confuse that debt with life.

How much do I want my perceptions to be absurdly dramatic, like a scene? A moment in time lived in a minute.

All played out on a set. The entire routine. Standing near the counter hands on granite, hunched over, staring at feet, the luster of wood dimly lit, underneath. Next move. What movie set am I living my life on?

These are words to say, good morning. I’ll write another day.

©️ aquietwalk 4/2022

Posted on by aquietwalk

When Words Cannot Speak

When words would rather escape me

I cannot breathe, I just wish to be free.

Paint a vibrant canvas with pleasure

that moment when a heart is a picture.

~

If I could stay in that quiet respite

would then fear were my outfit.

To swell itself around my state of mind,

to always catch me, where love unwind.

~

I held her in my arms one winter day

I knew in that breath this was a way

to give back, to feel her soft gasp

listening I could within my grasp.

~

I wanted only to hold her pain,

the words alone wouldn’t explain.

© aquietwalk 4/2022