Posted on by aquietwalk

A Case of Beer

It was a Saturday afternoon,

plans for the night

drink and party.

I had the keys

the liquor cabinet,

downstairs a storeroom

under the store.

There was a particular case,

you can still smell the stench

spilled beer and broken bottles,

the case was unique

perfect for tonight’s party.

I loaded it onto the back of my bicycle,

strapped it down,

looked at my buddy returning to the store,

both of us smiling,

didn’t ever see the vagrant.

He sat on the steps and watched us the whole time.

That night my dad called,

said I lost my job,

stole a case of beer.

Never got a chance to explain.

Only knew the store owner slapped a dollar bill

in the vagrant’s hands and told him.

‘be on your way.’

Posted on by aquietwalk

Silly Little Lie

Seems likely,

a state of mind

is driven by fear,

those unknowns hanging around.

We do lie to ourselves,

a constant berating,

always measuring

until we can no longer hang on.

Oh, silly little lies,

those moments of unravel,

where our mind does leave

our heart lilting behind.

Oh the soul,

that place so sacred

we think about afterward,

and wonder what comes next.

These silly little lies,

occupy our mind,

give careless direction

to wanting competitors.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Word Fights

In a fitting moment,

a human can be aroused

by the world they live in,

simple, free and confined.

We all have our hearts,

some talk about the soul,

others cry their bitter tears,

all wanting that place to stand.

Sounds familiar,

always is,

same words,

sentiment no different,

just another day in the life,

of a broken heart,

a wild imagination,

a central device of definition,

some human condition shit,

all the same

on a different day, different plane,

a parallel fucking universe,

somebody tell me how to get off,

rather than trying to hang on,

what happens when I fall,

nothing underneath,

just floating in the air,

sort of like my mind on acid,

or maybe nothing at all,

just my mind,

my fucking brain on

reality.

Posted on by aquietwalk

A Visit

I think she visited me,

I’d hate to say it true,

and lose her all over again,

but I do think she did.

It was a special day,

remarkable miracles,

when later I would check

and I noticed her,

in that lovely mystery

her cryptic way,

to lend to the beauty

of her long lasting mystique.

He wondered with a smile,

if he did respond,

told her so

and thanked her more,

would she go away,

take her life to another way,

where he could still imagine

but no longer find her

again, just like the last time,

a decade ago

of misguided assurances

and confusing outcomes.

Oh to have the recordings back

the lovely pleas in music,

if only then,

and maybe now,

but time doesn’t allow,

only the beauty of love

can be found to be waiting

when no one is looking,

and in a glance,

we do see we have eyes,

their depths inherent

with our own personal

desire to find our soul

with each heart in hand.

Posted on by aquietwalk

In 2021

I really didn’t think I would make it,

I watched the days drift by

painfully so

as I imagined each downfall

every reason to believe

my life wasn’t worth living.

I listened to friends,

met a therapist

a blue sky did nothing

for my state of mind.

I wanted to escape

all the festering angst,

thought I wasn’t capable

of living any sort of life.

It was in 2021

I rushed through resistance,

didn’t want to grow,

figured it was too late,

my life in a measure

of selfish deceit.

I walked alone for a very long time,

today I’m still alone, still alive.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Trying to Resurface

I walked a thin line,

the same as you

and I wondered

is this all there is.

I remember days of

staring at walls,

drinking my coffee

liking a routine.

But I was still buried

trying to find a light,

some indication

that I was all right.

I went to bed early

and I got up late,

still having that coffee

still staring at walls.

I wandered alone

in a sea of people,

I looked in their eyes

they all turned away.

I didn’t really know

what side of the street

what part of the ladder

I landed upon.

I only wanted to breathe

I only hoped I might believe.

Posted on by aquietwalk

A Clear Day

I looked outside,

could see the blue sky,

I wondered inside,

what’s my takeaway.

Thought about snowshoeing,

enjoying the crisp air,

wondered what I’m doing

questioning nature.

Seems everything is clear,

then why the cobwebs,

trying to only assure

the mind flows and ebbs.

I’m counting on someone,

to come rescue me,

on this beautiful day, one

asks authenticity.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Was Once A Smile

She would on those autumn days

smile with eyes that could shine,

enough to shadow her tears,

oh those pretty autumn days.

I used to weep occasionally,

knowing how beautiful,

how spectacular

moments would be in her arms.

Time did accumulate,

our hopes and desires,

became a waning passion,

a loss of serendipity.

I wait now in curiosity

will ever we somehow

dream again her smile.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Watching Sunsets

I sat on my deck the other evening and watched the sunset below the apex of buildings and distant trees outside my village. I live in a residential neighborhood of apartments secluded but on top of one another. I haven’t the advantage of the sun setting below a line of trees on the horizon, yet I can still watch the sky turn to a lovely crimson on a summer night. It is here when my most intimate thoughts come to mind.

I fell in love with a woman over a year ago whom I had known for decades. We crossed paths again at what seemed an ideal time in both of our lives. I had just left a marriage that had been unraveling for years and she had been single for some time, content in her independence but wondering about the possibility of a relationship, more likely as I write this today searching for companionship. If I could know today what I know now we might still be spending time together, but instead, I overwhelmed her and she decided to leave abruptly. I fell apart and still continue to try to pick up the pieces of my life left behind in the ashes. I was going through a lot around the time that things went south with the two of us and no matter what I tried it was a losing battle.

Today, I sit on a ledge looking at the natural evolution of our lives in the simple meaning of a sun descending along the horizon. I often wish I might share this moment with my friend even if it means in our separate worlds miles away from one another. I hold out a hope that is meaningless without knowing her state of mind. I only wish and put the puzzle pieces together on my own, and I’m sure they don’t really match up that well.

There is something about love that I’ve never really understood. We talk often about that unconditional aspect of affection. I have that with my children and select friends, but what about a companion. Why would we develop time together if there wasn’t a spiritual basis to our affections? I once knew unconditional love in my relationship with my ex-wife and I suppose there still is some of that hanging around, but truly it is different in that our relationship has completely changed. With my most recent relationship, I am clear of the attachment being real and not a passing moment. Unfortunately I cannot convince her of the same. So my days are spent watching sunsets and dreaming of moments.

The energy from the sun is truly magical, and if we appreciate it in the special manner it presents itself we might rest more easily knowing we can never truly be alone.

© aquietwalk

Posted on by aquietwalk

Sweet Is Her Elegance

If only tonight were enough

if a realization would give peace.

This outcome treats me rough,

a quiet departure, her silent release.

~

If only I could know today,

how I let elegance drift away

If only I could know today.

~

I was walking with her the other day

just the other day, now suddenly

this quiet void, she has gone away.

No love so able with her so openly.

~

Sweet is her elegance show me the way

If only now we might, Oh sweet elegance.

© aquietwalk