I stole death
A few times
One night
Stepping into the highway
Making cars swerve
A couple more steps
Crossing the white lines
Cars screaming by.
I stole death one time
Standing on the rail
Of a bridge nearby
Hands holding a lamppost
Nearby
Wondering if landing on ice
Or pouring through the water
Would silence the mood.
I stole death one night,
I was all alone.
I watch to drive away
I didn’t believe your eyes
I wanted to hear you say
What we are doing isn’t wise
But you just disappeared
Down the road
And now my days go by
I heard you cried the other day
It was a day I’m afraid to say
When suddenly I realized
Only dreams would come my way
I wanted you to stay
Even though we live the way
We did for hours in the sun
And night time twilight saying
This is who we are today.
I watch days go by,
summer warmth,
laying by the pool,
and then autumn winds,
we walk with light sweaters
feeling the crisp air,
a gradual turn
to winter’s quiet
resilient nature.
We have to find
the heavy garments,
creating soft cocoons,
carrying us through season,
finding ways to appreciate
the beauty of how
our bodies
adjust to the changing seasons.
I thought of you the other day,
how we might walk together
holding hands
feeling fresh snow
tease our nose,
laughing in each other’s eyes,
a warm reminder
envelops me now,
while listening to the Moody Blues,
I can almost feel your
heart touching my soul.
On a gloomy Sunday,
In my robe and gray skies
I said for hours
Only wishing my demise.
I don’t move sometimes
Sitting for hours.
I wish I knew my state of mind
Well before launching in
I sit for hours
Wondering where
How all this time has passed
And yet I am waiting,
always waiting.
I can’t think straight, and then I realize it is ok, this is only the psychological part of me that has always found trouble eventually. You have to wonder what I am even trying to say with those words. And then I breathe and realize the moment. Not lost. Still moment. Asking forgiveness, finds presence, trying to hold on. Suddenly everything is layered upon him. Suddenly life feels so permanent. The key would be to relive life with a different set of choices. I’m home in the safety of my refuge, I could call it that I suppose. I wish the words writing a song. Did you ever forget a dream? What about an out of body experience. I honestly don’t know what I am doing and would rather keep it here. How bottled up do we allow ourselves to be? What if I explode? I walked outside in the fresh air and felt the wind upon my skin. Isn’t that normal? To feel? I have an issue with not feeling inspired. Dead in the water, wanting to be in the water. Wait! You just said it. You did something human. Inside the passion and confusion is life. Breathe.
I feel like I’m on a cliff
just hanging on,
all alone,
like I won’t fall
it’s only a show.
A role, we play
a figure in life
presentable language
air, and atmosphere.
Stand nearby.
I manage to be a figure
in life,
this life I lead,
I am the commander.
Emotions aside
Thoughts scream
A daily absence
Time driven
Thoughts prevail
Confusing the brain
When present means
Facing fears
We fight the torture
Of a lonely mind
Find the refuge
Heart and soul
Passion of life
Settle screams.
Drawn by candlelight
I felt my peace
The glow upon artifacts
Of my life.
I could feel my senses
Arising in the lights
The shadows and flickering
Nuances
Playing before my eyes
I wondered if life would be
Truly this simple and free.
Just a feeling
watching the moon
it’s a crescent tonight,
quite beautiful
on the horizon.
I sent you this song
because I wanted
you
to see how close it is to
describing you and me.
I wanted to stay up all night
and watch the stars
and imagine that you
were doing the same
in your quiet world.
Twilight mystique
holds promise for
love.
It matters where my thoughts go,
I just can’t seem to remember anything.
and really I ask you,
what makes any of this important.
Is the caressing the edge of sanity?
perhaps just a fantasy on a crisp
autumn day.
This is where my mojo says good bye,
steps away only to see if I can
handle things alone
be a model,
live a life like a neighbor,
the American way.
This little bit of dialogue,
has gone well beyond my
state of mind.
Paper and a pen 