When I told you I
loved you so much I might cry.
She never asked why
Listening to Artists
I’ve always been envious,
why haven’t they ever called me one,
though I’ve never really known
the true definition.
One could imagine,
by sight
the very texture of one’s soul,
in their most personal work,
only if when in question,
they might delve,
scratch and pull,
leave callouses on their psyche,
wish for everyone around
to suddenly
disappear.
Aging
I fear it sometimes,
the very thought of it,
a dank odor in my flat,
a sign of skin shedding,
enveloping the room
with the reality of my time.
I fear it when my joints hurt,
walking up the steps a knee
shouts at me in pain,
I can’t pull up
and have to continue on.
I fear it,
the very nature of aging,
the seasons come and go
each with their own beauty,
recompense, tradition.
I fear my own,
though I wonder, autumn.
Alone Time
I’m sitting alone today,
in my chair,
this is become a habit.
I have a warm coffee in my hands,
a daily ritual.
I wonder about things
I wander in my mind,
do I wish to be alone?
I think about trying to find peace
to feel comfort
while sitting alone.
I read some pages in a book,
write a few poems,
watch the snow outside.
Does it change my perspective
or remind me of my self.
I think about those things
sitting alone
in my chair
on a peaceful snowy day.
Internal Battle
I really want to say,
well there is no other way,
fuck all this pain,
this drive to learn a way.
Seems inside my mind,
I’m always second-guessing,
and when I ask a person nearby,
they seem to know not what to say,
instead I think they go about their own
sort of trying to find an angle,
what it is we would all like to say,
without landing ourselves alone,
every day.
If I Could Change
I would be fourteen
When last it was my routine
An innocent teen
I Wonder Why
Looking for reason
This is Thanksgiving season
Holiday treason
Cancer
Nothing else really matters
She stood in line
With the rest of them
Quiet and composed
Holding onto her own story.
She didn’t plan to be here
No one ever does
The world continued on
Around her
Everything always does
She remembers the first day
The panic in her heart
Like suddenly this memory
Hangs on to her alone.
The people around now cry
Quiet in their own grief
They know she’ll rise above
The tough bird that she is
Sing above the trees
Let the sunlight be
What reminds us of life
How our lives are meant
To be.
I Wrote You A Letter
We were 21,
I was leaving town
I didn’t want to say goodbye,
you never really knew.
I wrote it on a legal pad,
gave it a date,
and that’s all I had.
I was rummaging years later
came across a faded leather journal
held it close to my heart.
Words spoken to you,
this sort of love thing that I knew
back when anything could happen.
I wrote a letter to you,
seems I wanted to miss you.
I Wanted To Hide
I stood on a hill
Over the city
A gravel path reached
For my dreams
I wanted to imagine
I wanted to hide.
I sat on a bench
In the twilight
Waiting for her
Seeing the headlights
Wondering who was inside
I wanted to shout
I wanted to hide.
I stood on the rail
In the cold of winter
Held on to the lamppost
Slippery gloves
I wanted to know
I wanted to hide.
Paper and a pen 