Posted on by aquietwalk

Moon Song

I watched the moon rise last night

the sky screaming spectacular

couldn’t feel a thing tonight

just wanted her near me in the clear.

~

I felt the pangs of loss in the sky

owls lauding in a preserve in song.

I knew the sound would ask me why

what had I done, where might I belong.

~

I couldn’t help but want to cry again

wishing only that I might be wrong

If every moment I’d felt had begun

a new mantra, a settling soul in song.

~

These quiet moments under the moon,

would be lost in the shadows too soon.

Posted on by aquietwalk

A Question of Why

If I could connect with the world

this is what I might want, say

for there is another plane could

overcome the same, achieving why.

~

Is it true we think the same, just more

in our own heads we play a flute

has resonate sound, a pretty melody.

~

We want to feel the same both you and me

We want to feel the same, without a question why

We want to feel the same.

~

One earth, one state of mind we share

we ought to come together – if we will.

Finding distant highways draw us near

If we could wander, freedom is the thrill.

~

We want to feel the same

We want the world to follow our lead

or find their own.

We want to feel the same.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Missed Opportunity

We were settled,

a fine ballad

two of us going everywhere,

yet then fear began to loom its ugly exterior

what laid inside no longer mattered,

the surface became torn and shredded,

there wasn’t anyplace felt new anymore

we died next to the idea.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Prose Bleeds

So I’ve really lost my head over this thing haven’t I?… The words are floating around in my head, a constant reminder that something is amiss. I want to believe it’s fine, but I just cannot convince myself completely. I keep feeling this same low level anxiety I have carried around with me for years – not able to ever find peace.

I really went overboard. I haven’t let go of her at all. I can’t really get past my love for her, and now suddenly I imagine how deep my grief has taken me, to a point of psychosis. This is a telling tale of how lost I have become, to such a degree I question my own worthiness in my job. I wonder if everyone knows how fucked up I am.

Is this actual writing or tall tales?

Posted on by aquietwalk

Is this really writing

this bleeding heart drivel

seems to be so overplayed

like it is a losing battle.

Yet we cannot help but wait,

a moment some telling truth

would strike a battle upon

the very nature of, that truth.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Fear

Are we all just living our lives on the edge,

the salient mind can only once imagine,

the keys are held in the hands of a sage

always one step away, one grasp, a win.

Posted on by aquietwalk

Cry My Song

Am I liked or am I crazy?

Can’t help but feel so lazy.

I still haven’t figured out

years of being without.

~

What is my ask you might

wishing for the night

fade away with the moon

give myself a break soon.

~

I wanted to cry last night, again

I wanted to cry last night, again

~

If I could solve a minute

nothing lies in dispute

time just filters itself away

can’t figure out how to stay.

~

I wanted to cry again.

Posted on by aquietwalk

In the middle of the night

I woke to a still life sky

The minutes slow to a crawl

My mind wanders

Same outpost

Always landing nearby her memory

In the middle of the night

Eyes still wonder

Can she possibly believe

In this still night air

Still wishing to breathe

Life into what we once were

Posted on by aquietwalk

Taking A Risk

I believe in love. I believe it lives in our every day lives, every day actions. Our beliefs, actions, feelings, hopes all evolve with love. W can choose to use it in our lives, or accept it and appreciate its impact on our decisions and choices.

I choose to love. I fell in love with a woman over a year ago whom I had known for most of my life. We were not in touch for decades but somehow knew what was happening with each other. We suddenly were in a position to appreciate each other on a close friend level, though mistakenly we became an intimate couple far too soon. Things became scary and she chose to go a different direction. I had no choice to accept her decision, though I didn’t handle it well.

I spent the next two months trying to fix things as most guys think is their only alternative. Instead I pushed her further away with every effort. I one day came to terms with the fact that when she told me she needed her space, she meant it and I was only prolonging the obvious. She didn’t want me in her life or around for that matter. She walked a tight rope with me and suddenly it snapped.

I have since that time struggled. I have struggled to understand and accept this loss of someone I imagined to be in my life for the near and far future. Our lives were at a place we both felt we could live together, appreciating what lay ahead. Somewhere that dream was shattered and I could not pick up the pieces. I’m still trying and it makes me realize how unrealistic I can be. But I have to wonder if that is all there is.

I’m going to invite her to get together for a chat, a visit, a cup of coffee, maybe a walk. I’m in love and I don’t think that will ever change. So I am living that life of believing that what we had was true, and not that I can change it. I just want her to know. I want to look in eyes and recognize the attraction we have with one another is far deeper than simply that physicality. The eyes are a path to the soul and I don’t see any other way to describe my feelings to her. I want to take care of her and I have never felt such a profound desire in my life. Not in thirty years of marriage.

I know we are at the apex of our lives and we have less time remaining that the years we have been alive. I wish to be there for her and I want her to wish to be with me. I haven’t any control over that. The only thing I can do is express to her what I believe and wish and then let her go.

I do love.

© aquietwalk 4/2022

Posted on by aquietwalk

Sonnet #18

BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date;

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;

Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:

   So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.