Sitting in my chair,

laptop waiting my taps,

just illuminating

a blank page

with so much on my mind,

just want to write,

find a way to express

the ideas in my head.

I want to circle the wagons,

not reveal my scariest truths,

and yet,

here I am

letting myself be consumed,

almost eaten alive

with a fury,

a desire,

an unknown,

wanting somehow

to step away from the fright.

I saw her the other day,

in a crowd of a hundred,

didn’t matter how many really,

you stuck out in the audience,

I was happy, somehow relieved,

to know how happy you appeared.

I just wished I could …