I really didn’t think I would make it,

I watched the days drift by

painfully so

as I imagined each downfall

every reason to believe

my life wasn’t worth living.

I listened to friends,

met a therapist

a blue sky did nothing

for my state of mind.

I wanted to escape

all the festering angst,

thought I wasn’t capable

of living any sort of life.

It was in 2021

I rushed through resistance,

didn’t want to grow,

figured it was too late,

my life in a measure

of selfish deceit.

I walked alone for a very long time,

today I’m still alone, still alive.